The Calm Before The Storm

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The Doctor will see you now.
Here you will see some NSFW stuff and blogs of everyday life and stuff that i stumblr across on the internets.
Im really into History, Classics, Shakespeare, Books and Comics, Roleplay and Games, and just chatting to like minded people.

Your Resident Kiwi.

Just another day

  #Such loneliness    #depressed    #someone come hug me    #and leg me spoon them  

Just like every other day really.

Self doubt sucks, you sit there and it hits with the power of a tornado.
The wind being knocked outta your sails doesnt even begin to describe how it feels for me.
Cause i just sit there, and then all of a sudden, i start thinking
"What if this isnt right?"
"What if this is the wrong choice?"
“What if im wrong?”
"What do i do now?"
Its the most annoying thing that happens to me on a daily basis, just a lil self respect could go along way, but when i forget to take my pills or its just one of those days where i feel horrible just being alive, the best thing i can do is talk to those who make me happy.
So thats what i aim to do, talk to those who make me happy, cause that shit is addictive, smiles are addictive, and so are you.
But how do i know that being happy is enough and that i am doing the right thing? i always get the feeling that im not going to succeed in anything, that others are better off than i am, and that i basically just generally dont do enough to get by, or only enough to get by.
Am i close to getting it right? How will i know when i am? How will i know when im happy, cause i’ve been faking it for so long? 

  #You    #Doubt    #self worth    #Depressed    #me    #rant    #meh    #ignore me  

Hearing the disappointment in your voice made me regret leaving.

  #I am sorry    #me    #down    #depressed  

Just like every other night really

Human contact.

How i miss thee.

  #me    #depressed    #but only a bit down    #stupid rain    #touch    #miss    #Human Contact  

Just like every other night really

You know that sound that comes through your speakers if you have your phone to close to them?

I get that sound so often come through my speakers when im at the computer, I sit there and watch my phone incase it lights up or plays my txt alert really loudly.

But i dont get a txt, in fact i can go a whole week without getting txt’d by anyone.

I feel sad that i even have a phone.

Also now doubt that ill be getting any sleep tonight, and i have an early class in the morning.

Should i even care?

  #me    #depressed    #spiraling    #txt    #phone    #cell    #lonely  


You look like a Cuba street “freak” the kind of people that we gawked at and rolled our eyes at.

You’ve given in to all these. Reckless dark desires. Your Lying to yourself again”

You look like shit, and its a terrible waste.
Earlier this week, a friend of mine said that you “used to look…

  #not stoned    #me    #self    #depressed    #but getting better  

Im really High, and this is on my mind.

Fucken FAKE

Fucken WEAK

  #depressed    #rage    #grrr  

Im really High, and this is on my mind.

Get me outta hea!

Fucken booored.

he says with a week till things change AGAIN.

  #depressed    #high    #stoned    #weed  

Just like every other day really


Seriously get out of my head.

I dont want you there.

  #depressed    #fucken hell    #me    #miss it though  

Just like every other night really

Writing a poem, depending on how many times i have to go over it, i might put it up on my tumblr.

Just want to get certain people outta my head.

just for tonight. 

  #me    #self    #bored    #depressed