Self doubt sucks, you sit there and it hits with the power of a tornado.
The wind being knocked outta your sails doesnt even begin to describe how it feels for me.
Cause i just sit there, and then all of a sudden, i start thinking
"What if this isnt right?"
"What if this is the wrong choice?"
“What if im wrong?”
"What do i do now?"
Its the most annoying thing that happens to me on a daily basis, just a lil self respect could go along way, but when i forget to take my pills or its just one of those days where i feel horrible just being alive, the best thing i can do is talk to those who make me happy.
So thats what i aim to do, talk to those who make me happy, cause that shit is addictive, smiles are addictive, and so are you.
But how do i know that being happy is enough and that i am doing the right thing? i always get the feeling that im not going to succeed in anything, that others are better off than i am, and that i basically just generally dont do enough to get by, or only enough to get by.
Am i close to getting it right? How will i know when i am? How will i know when im happy, cause i’ve been faking it for so long?
You know that sound that comes through your speakers if you have your phone to close to them?
I get that sound so often come through my speakers when im at the computer, I sit there and watch my phone incase it lights up or plays my txt alert really loudly.
But i dont get a txt, in fact i can go a whole week without getting txt’d by anyone.
I feel sad that i even have a phone.
Also now doubt that ill be getting any sleep tonight, and i have an early class in the morning.
Should i even care?
You look like a Cuba street “freak” the kind of people that we gawked at and rolled our eyes at.
“You’ve given in to all these. Reckless dark desires. Your Lying to yourself again”
You look like shit, and its a terrible waste.
Earlier this week, a friend of mine said that you “used to look…
Get me outta hea!
he says with a week till things change AGAIN.
Seriously get out of my head.
I dont want you there.